Bhool Bhulaiyaa 3: Grotesque? Yes. Burlesque: Yes. Statuesque? Yes. Humouresque: No. Maze: Yes. Amazing: No

Bhool Bhulaiyaa 3: Grotesque? Yes. Burlesque: Yes. Statuesque? Yes. Humouresque: No. Maze: Yes. Amazing: No

Bhool Bhulaiya literally means a maze or labyrinth, in Hindustani language. This one refers to the Adventures of a Fake Ghostbuster and his Pygmy Partner, who collapses at the slightest sign of danger. They are as fake as the royal family they are summoned to, to perform the task of busting the ghost of a princess, who was imprisoned in a large room, with heavy padlocks, 200 years ago. But before we move on to discuss the merits and de-merits of this Anees Bazmee genre film, made by Anees Bazmee himself, it would be nice if you erased your soft disc (brain, in other words) of the memory of BB1 and BB2. It is not a trilogy. Only the song, ‘Aamee jey tomaar’, the two sisters and one ghost, reverberate here. The rest is a mayhem of good writing and creative direction, though the performers make merry of the script by acting as dumb as the scene demands. Bhool Bhulaiyaa 3 is best seen with disbelief suspended in air, literally; a lot of persons in this suddenly get elevated. One is dropped off a mountain. Kartik Aryan and Anees Bazmee will get their money’s worth. Others might need to be treated with holy water, like Gangajal (water of the river Ganges-Ganga) or a bottle of holy oil, purified by a Maha-Pandit (High Priest) immediately after making their way to the sign marks ‘exit’.

Impressed with his Fake YouTube video, a bunch of Miserly, Niggardly, Parsimonious, Penurious and Bankrupt bunch of ‘royals’, who are in a real bad shape, in 2024, invite the Ghostbuster, called Rooh Baba (rooh is soul or spirit in Hindustani) to release and terminate, or exterminate, the ghost of their ancestor, Manjulika, who, according to a 1824 legend, was murdered, in a case of “Who will inherit the throne?” And the answer going, “The king’s only son, Debendra, of course.” And never mind if the son was not borne by the Queen, but was given birth by a member of his royal harem, just because of she is a girl (named Manjulika), his real son, borne of the Queen. Remember, is 1824, so women’s liberation movements are to begin at least a 100 years later. But Manjulika’s ghost haunted them, seeking revenge. Somehow, the inhabitants of the palace managed to capture it and push it into a large room, with several huge primitive locking contraptions bolting her in. Lock, stock and barrel. That is enough to keep her at bay. But the royals now want to sell that palace and pay their huge debts, plus regain some of their stature, so they want to open that door and get rid of the ghost once and for all.

Manjulika also had a sister named Anjulika, says the High Priest, after doing some research in a library, who seems to be the same holy man who seconded the order to execute Manjulika 200 years ago. What if she is also a ghost, was murdered, like Manjulika, and she too wants revenge? Don’t worry, Bhoot Baba is here to sort things out. The evil spirit is to be exorcised before, or latest by, the Durga Ashtami, the 8th day in the nine holy-days before Diwali. With crucial and critical help from his side-kick, he usually plays magical tricks, tampering with the electric supply in the palace, and finds the princess falling for him, and he decides to take on the Manjulika Ghost Challenge, with Rs. 1 crore (10 million) as the booty. To look after him and serve him during his stay, there are three characters who seem to have walked out of an early Agha Hashr Kashmiri (the doyen among playwrights of his time and the director of a few silent films as well) just out of an early 20th century stage play humour: Two pandits (priests) and the wife of the older one. The older Pandit is at odds with his wife, too old to fall by another woman, and dump his wife, who does the cleaning and cooking too. She makes most wide-angle faces and eyes, every time she get a close-up or a mid-close shot. Her husband puts the exorcism in jeopardy, by oiling his hair with charmed oil meant to destroy Manjulika. Luckily, he does not over-indulge, otherwise the well-oiled plans of the GB and the High Priest would be brought to a naught. The third is a very short man, who, comparison with the GB’s buddy, looks tall. He has an upturned, erect shikha (sort of a pony-tail, but tied at the middle of his head, unlike the usually back-of-the-head variety. The trio travel on a bullock cart, named Rolls Royce, with the name being a combination of Rolls (the name of one of the bullocks) and the other one…full marks for guessing right. Rolls Royce it is.

The brain-child of writer Aakash A. Kaushik, whose name contains 4As, fails to show 3 As (attention to detail, answers to the questions the film itself raises and a convincing plot). The only Ace that he reveals is not an ace at all. It is a joker, and then it is done. Why do ghosts wear masks? Can ghosts be locked in? If they can get into and out of human beings, surely they can come out of a wall, a window or a door. What were the incarnations/rebirths doing for the past 200 years? Does a high flying lady, a restoring specialist, work solo, on the task onerous and demanding task of restoring a crumbling palace? Why does a prospective buyer of the mansions have to be killed in a car crash several kms away, after he has handed over a cheque for s. 1,000 crore, engineered by a ghost, and then brought back to the haunted palace, seated on the throne, with his arm suddenly extending to about 15 feet and his neck turning 360 degrees? He was dead anyway, so he was no more in the running to be the highest bidder. The romance between the hero and the heroine blooms too soon, and appears one-sided in the beginning, with she taking pictures of he, secretly.

Why does the ghost/reincarnation approach the palace in a speedboat at night, standing erect? Don’t such creatures fly, or at least soar? In a tug of war with the two women, a fat, long rope, (literal, not allegorical) has to end with the rope breaking in the middle, a gag that the audience would see coming before it came, being aware of the Indian rope-trick? Why is the bumpkin, with upturned pony-tail, have to be named Chotiya? Just because this will hoodwink the censors, who may not able to see the double entendre hidden in it? Yet, there several beeps in the movie. Incidentally, Kaushik is a Film and Television Institute of India, Pune, graduate, and studied at Sri Venkateswara College, Delhi University. He now lives in Mumbai. He has written films of the comedy/entertainment kind, like Bhool Bhulaiyaa 2, Housefull 4, A Flying Jatt, F.A.L.T.U and Thank God. Rolls Royce is a super-luxury car brand that was considered a status symbol in India, till the 1950s and early 60s, but not invented till 1906. The company is defunct since 1987. So how come the nitwit and no-brainer, Chotiya, who appears to be 30 years old, name his two bullocks by that name? We know about Manjulika and Anjulika from previous editions, so that is not a surprise. Pray, what was the need to set the film in Kolkata, with most actors merely adding ‘o’ to their pronunciation, to sound Bengali. But they revert to normal Hindi, at the clap of a clapper board.

Come in Anees Bazmee, the director of the BB series. At the end of the film, is Bazmee Saahab sure the audience knows how many ghosts haunted the mansion and how many were re-incarnated, 150 years, or so, later? Do ghosts have to wear masks, of the Jim Carrey variety to frighten people? Does anybody carry with him a signed cheque for Rs. 1,000 crore? Cheques of Rs. 50 lakh (five million) and more, need to be approved by two bank officials and fall under the Positive Pay System. Would anybody, except the Gullibles (Hollywood, are you listening? I just gave you a title for a film. If you use it, I will demand royalty, claiming copyright) accept a cheque for Rs. 1,000 crore in a blink of an eye, without knowing any details about the stone-faced but immaculately dressed man, except what he plans to do with it, which he reveals himself? Would such a man drive his medium class car a long way himself, without any driver, assistants and security?

Great sets, dreamy songs and incredible dance prowess exhibited by the ‘boneless’ hero and the chorus dancers and some funny moments are takeaways from the film. There is not much more. A superstar of yester-year is brought-into the film, just to showcase her dance duel with a current star in what appears to a combination of Kathak and Bharat Natyam. Of course, she can act too (and how), but why bring her in for an extended ‘special appearance’, midway on the river Hooghly, for little more than star value? Aneesbhai, though you have loyally repeated one lead role player from BB1, one misses Tabu, who was in BB2. The reference to Shahrukh Khan’s titular film character of the recent super-hit Jawan may have been a left-handed, funny tribute to him, but fails to evoke laughter. And crow biryani…ugh! I do know that you are not very comfortable with English, although your Hindi and Urdu are of a high class, but ‘eating crow’ is an English idiom (muhaavra), which means being humiliated by one’s defeats or mistakes. Moreover, a similar scene was part of the film Run, released in May this year, featuring Vijay Raaz, who plays the King here. Bazmee also pays tribute Alfred Hithcock, with a mere mention. Hitchcock made iconic suspenseful thrillers and murder mysteries, and wouldn’t’ want his soul to be seen (or unseen) anywhere near BB3.

Kartik Aaryan continues his impressions of Akshay Kumar (who headed the cast off BB1). He dances amazingly, with a rubberesque body, and no obvious signs of duplicates being used to dance-in for him. His range of acting stills and a wide fan following on the heels of BB2, released about two years ago will ensure a not too bad run at the box office. He revels in being put in situations that vary from the ridiculous to the ludicrous, from romantic to dramatic. Looking like an artist’s image of Parineeti Chopra, Triptii Dimri, playing Madhulika/Meera here, made her debut in a small role in 2017, in Mom, is cute and easy on the eye, with a generous leeway on her ‘cleavay’. This is becoming wider and dipping lower in recent films and other related events, not to mention parties, a sort of gravitas caused by the ‘gravity’ of competition, by the month, and I think that soon, full female nudity might be allowed in films that are granted an Adults Only Censor certificate. Tripti doesn’t look her 30 years at all, appearing more to be 25. She has been given a highly colourful costume wardrobe that is pleasing and serene. Animal and Bad Newz earned her plaudits.

Vidya Balan (Manjulika/Meera, has become a go-to actress, not very different from the versatility of Tabu, and carries her rotundity impressively, is a whale of a competition to any Indian classical actress/dancer. And what can one say about veteran Madhuri Dixit (Anjulika/Mandira)? I regret being unable to convince her to play Anarkali in late Chetan Anand’s dream project, which never took off. That was when she was 26-27, not the 57 years that she wears well today. Chetan Anand passed away in 1997.

A strong supporting cast is part of the entourage. Vijay Raaz has now become a shadow of himself, developing the Voice-Over style of speech, after giving vocal background after the titles have flashed by, in a number of films. He looks like an emaciated King alright. Rajesh Sharma, another talent reservoir, cast as the King’s brother-in-law, seems to be playing himself, enjoying the jokes as if he is at a joke-narrating session. Luckily for him, that goes with his character. Rajpal Yadav will be Rajpal Yadav. In this film, he is the vertically challenged Chhota Pandit, called ‘Chotiya. His mere appearance draws peals of laughter, and guffaws are heard every time he is subjected to any onerous or humiliating task, or when he is falling down a cliff. Reminds me of the late Mukri, who had the same persona, but was a bit more rotund. Ashwini Kalsekar needs to work a bit on her Hindi diction.

Sanjay Mishra has to go the Rajpal Yadav way, as the Bada (older) Pandit, but he exhibits uncharacteristic energy in this movie, something I found lacking in some of his recent films. Shataf (remember SherShah?) Figar as Vicky Khanna, the prospective buyer of the palace has a small role, but is given the best of VFX after he is killed. Shades of The Exorcist and Omen. Denzil Smith, who has done a real lot of theatre, is cast as the Maharaj (king) in 1824, tones down his performance, perhaps due being too careful with the Hindustani language. He is more of an English theatre thespian. Kanchan Mullick (I could swear that this was the local Mumbai comedian and mime artiste, Paintal), a Bengali actor is credited as the bodyguard, who is now old, paralysed and wheel-chair bound, and the bodies he was guarding, the King, and his brother-in-law, become his caretaker, acknowledging his past services. A hilarious scene, that is probably inspired, though in reverse, by the Pink Panther series, wherein Peter Sellers adopts a karate champion as his son, only to use him as his lackey and body-guard. Another exaggerated funny scene, a whole family tries to squeeze tooth-paste out pof an almist empty tube. 

Cinematography by Manu Anand needed to be just right for the VFX team to work on, and it is. Most scenes are indoors, but the outdoor scenes capture some beautiful images. Editing needed to be crisper than what Sanjay Sankla has let drift into a solid 158 minutes. Some of the scares are brought about by mere cuts, whereas some other terrorising scenes turn out to be dreams, an age-old trope, that. Music, largely by Pritam, is quite good, with at least two songs being memorable. Seeing lip-sync songs these days is a welcome rarity.

Watch Bhool Bhulaiyaa 3, if you must, as if you are being hurled into a labyrinth, which makes funny faces at you and reverberates as a ‘hardy har har’ of laughter, in many of its ghostly and earthly variations. If you dig this horriflick style of comedy, go for it. If, on the other hand, you would rather not be hurled into this maze, stay away. To describe the film in short, we may sum it up as: Grotesque? Yes. Burlesque: Yes. Statuesque? Yes. Humouresque?: Not enough. Maze: Yes. Amazing: No.

Rating: ** ½

Trailer: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=rRBXAOmPskE